http://murmele.livejournal.com/ ([identity profile] murmele.livejournal.com) wrote in [personal profile] morgeyna 2012-07-23 03:00 pm (UTC)

Это прекрасно, хотя я наверняка не поняла -- про что. :)
В конце первой строфы по-моему напрашивается "покуда" вместо "пока" -- размер держит лучше.
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